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| Friday, April 13th, 2007 | | 1:38 am |
ah, the lovely depression
i want to quit. quit everything my job life caring im done. i mean why shouldnt i i dont want to be here i never wanted to be here i was never asked if i wanted to be here i just am i am not allowed to kill myself this i know but thats why i put myself in the more dangerous positions incase, oops something happens well at least im not complaining about it. "its not what they want" i dont care what they want im tired of it being everybody else that matters and never me its never been me why am i a what about me person because im the only one who trys to fight for me fuck it, fuck you im tired of the bullshit. i want to quit my job get one at McDs where i can smoke pot every day come in stoned no responsability no cares there is no reward to caring so why do it self pride and a destroyed soul if you dont care you dont have a soul which hurts less than having one destroyed | | Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006 | | 12:52 pm |
so im moving to myspace. same handle ive been using. everything will be locked down to friends so if you want to continue to read become my friend on myspace | | Tuesday, August 1st, 2006 | | 11:09 am |
so i have this week off, boo; with the exception of todays little meeting at the leo. we'll see what comes of it, blah. things are changing, we'll see how they go.... honestly i doubt that anything new really wont make me more happy, just frustrated in a different way. i need to work on pushing myself and getting away from the dependancy of rhino. some of the work is real nice, but i dunno. time to figure out a new stronger direction. nicks leaving and im a bit jealous; however hes turned into a real dick about it. hes still livnig with mommy and then leaving, we'll see how long he lasts i wish him good luck, but dont be a dick. i went grocery shopping yesterday, wooo for food and meat, mmmm. anyway thats abut it | | Friday, July 28th, 2006 | | 10:52 pm |
so the new movie is monty python and the holy grail, wooo for british comedy. yu,r yp ;psd s mre np;e hehe thats what happens when my hands get mis set on the keys. points to anyone who gives enough of a fuck to figure it out (-: whatever post | | 10:44 pm |
so the shell is moved woo. i have tomorrow off so i am enjoying it. i just bought some good bud and some beer and im just relaxing. i feel good. i just finished the movie anger management. its pretty funny plus strong talent. i love good delivery and timing. anyway im talking out my ass so time to change the movie. | | Tuesday, July 25th, 2006 | | 7:49 pm |
ann coulter is on, if you want to understand a little bit more of my political believes listen to an interview with her. i dont believe every word, however out of every person on tv/radio.....whatever, shes who i agree with most... | | 6:54 pm |
work tomorrow, and the next few days, right now just sittin watching tv. lucy went to the groomer today, woot, less smelly dog. still dealing with the attack of the bugs, but i think we're starting to turn the tide. we need a shovel to get ride of the piles of dog shit and the flys should be gone, and the ant problem is lessing. so 8am tomorrow yeah.... | | Monday, July 24th, 2006 | | 5:56 pm |
im a free citizen, i can do whatever the fuck i want (-:
so today has been uneventful. got the washer and dryer iin, but need a different plug, fuck. oh well, i dont need it first so it can be someone elses problem. the new fridge is in, but we have no food to put in it currently since my roomies are poor and im not buying food for them to eat right now. though i dont know what im going to do for food... i still have chicken though, i dunno. claton came over and secured the router for us, thank you barney. and now im sitting watching some movie. i need to come up with something to do tonight. im soo fucking bored. a door was left open for a while and we got infested with flys so i have had a fly swatter near at hand for a while. i think im over 30 kills. our house is clean...enough so im not worried about them comng back, we just need to keep the doors closed more. what is there to do in this town??????? i dont want to go to the bar or sit at a coffee shop. gas is xpensive so i dont want to drive around... though i would drive to do something.i dunno, bored. booooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeddddddddddddddddddddddd | | 11:22 am |
well dog groomer is out for today, they are closed, booo. need to get the shit out of the back of my truck. i could work more on my room today, boooo. i dunno. i have no idea what to do with days off. | | 11:02 am |
so last night we found a washer and dryer for sale so tom, tera and myself went up to ov to pick it up. while up there they also had a fridge for sale so we got that too, woot for appliances. now we need food to fill the fridges. im thinking one for drink one for food. i think todays plans include lucy getting a bath, washing my truck, and.... dunno. i really need to find things to do with my time....i need a hobby... not an expensive one... maybe go to the climbing gym... but i need a climbing partnet to belay, fuck. along comes the realizeation of no friends. maybe go through my phone list and see who picks up. i wonder if the shits still in the back of my truck. eric frist said he was going to go with, then he bailed at the last second. now, im refusing to empty it, but i bet that shits still back there. god damnit, im the only one who does shit in this house | | Sunday, July 23rd, 2006 | | 3:52 pm |
so, 4 hours of cleaning my room and the house and im fucking done. my room is much better than when i started, definatly. i now have the rug down, and 4 less boxes in my room, woot. i still have stuff to do but its liveable enough for me now. though i still need to put my sheets back on my bed and put away laundry, that wont take too long. currently im cooking up some ground beef for tacos and playing on the xbox. i dont know what my plans for the rest of the night are. for right now food sounds good. | | 11:51 am |
since im thinking about eventually getting a server machine eventually im wondering what ill get. i hate intel chips, but they have the better duel core bios currently which will allow for better multitasking and the like, however peak readspeeds will still be slower than a single high speed athlon which are my favorite chips on the market. what amd needs to come out with is a new chipset with a quad core athlon 64 4800 running ddr2. the value of high speed ram and a straight through front sidebus no fucking bottle neck like intel has and no mathmatical error that intel has, awww that would be so fast i wouldnt know what to do with it.... perfect, its a server. and then get an OS that sucks less than XP. you know apple almost had me for a second. the osx series embarrasses xp however they went from one chip with a mathmatical error to another mathmatical error, boooo. there are too many calculations going on to deal with a divition by 1 err or an error in the 8th decimal place when your seeing trillions of calcs a second, they pop up often. sigh, maybe ill be happy with computers one day...one day | | 11:38 am |
dont you love it when i notice im babbling and just post to shut myself up, its bad when i dont even want to hear what im saying (-: eh, just add it into the other self loathing (-: | | 11:36 am |
reading a review on an ipod nano and they are offering a 2 year replacement plan. 2 years from now that little nano with be a piece of junk. its already got so little storage, 2 years from now they'll have something thinner, cheaper, faster, w more storage. thats why i havnt gotten one yet, theyre just not to the point i want yet....yet wooot for portable storage.... waiting on technology, whichy they already have, they're just not releazing it to the public yet. "gota sell off the shit in warehouses before we push new technology".... ass holes oh well what am i going to do, im just the little guy consumer, i suffer through what 'they' put out. gotta love the use of the invisible 'they' or 'them' it works so well when bitching but looses meaning when you move into the details of an argument, but in this case i think it would be the technology firms that create microprocessors, memory chips and the like....anyway babbling done. | | 11:25 am |
today is sunday...i wonder what my plans are. i think i should do some work on my room. i still have boxes from the move in i need to go through. i have no idea what im going to do with some of this shit....storage we got the room. i just need to make sure nothing is important in the boxes, gaaa. but once i get the shit out of my room ill have more space, then sweep the floor, lay the rug down get the rest of my posters up. that sounds like a plan for the day.... a shitty one, but something. | | 11:16 am |
im looking at mp3 players and not seeing anything thats really striking a cord yet. archos makes a 100 gig that looks kinda nice, but not for $600 id rather buy a half tera drive and drag that around with my laptop. im already up to almost 40 gig of music and still dont have anything close to what i want. i still have 21 gig left on my media drive then i have to decide what to do next... i really am liking the idea of getting a new desktop and setting that up as a server and running remote desktop so i can access all my media at once. i really want to put all my dvds on it so i can have a movie libraray anywhere i go. i need to take a look at the machines i have currently and see if any of them are saveable or what. i have my sisters old machine which shouldnt be that bad though theres a possibility it took a surge so who knows if its useable. however what would be nice about getting a new machine is they are cheap and i have extra drives to crank up the storage. i think i have a few burners i could load into the machine too, yay for multi session. i need to go through some of that shit....later, for now laying in bed watching discovery health listening to the cure | | 11:02 am |
i have a ton of the cure music in my head right now, so here you go 're so gorgeous I'll do anything! I'll feet To where begins! 're so perfect! 're so right as rain! make me Make me hungry again Everything do is irresistible Everything do is simply kissable Why can't I be ? I'll run around in circles 'Til I run out of breath I'll eat all up Or I'll just hug to death 're so wonderful! Too good to be true! make me Make me hungry for Everything do is simply delicate Everything do is quite angelicate Why can't I be ? turn my when turn around turn whole world upside down I'm smitten I'm bitten I'm hooked I'm cooked I'm stuck like glue! make me Make me hungry for Everything do is simply dreamy Everything do is quite delicious Why can't I be ? Why can't I be ? Why can't I be ? 're simply elegant! | | Saturday, July 22nd, 2006 | | 10:30 pm |
internet shopping is no good. you can spend money tooo easily. im shopping on newegg and want $300 worth of shit and im just starting, fuck. no shopping, close the site, i dont have enough money to be doing this shit. | | 8:02 pm |
They call me cutter
so im here trying to burn some discs for the first time on this machine. im having to update a bunch of shit, boooo. and i have to learn how to use my lightscribe, but if it works bitchen. the images are supposed to be pretty fuckng good, and they better be because the media is fucking expensive. | | Friday, July 21st, 2006 | | 11:01 am |
eyebrow removal complete. onto shell move next week. im sore from the eyebrow work, just lots of moving climbing and actually working. it just shows how out of shape i am. i just need to keep working, keep pushing and ill get there. 180lbs is still possible before the years out, i just need to start pushing harder. and this has been a good motivation to get started again. step 1, bust out the creitein, its a nasty texure and tastes bad but it works. i also need to start cosuming more food, but i just got some prilosec so that should help with the acid reflux. cali was good, but expensive. i still havnt looked at my credit card bill yet to see how much more i owe because of that trip, im kind of scared but it shouldnt be anything i cant get out of in a little bit of time. |
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